A telling example occurred last year, when a British food delivery startup introduced fines for employees who didn’t respond to messages for an hour during work hours. This sparked a heated debate on social media: some called it totalitarianism, others a necessary measure in the age of digital chaos. The company quickly rolled back the decision, but the very fact that the problem was discussed at the management level speaks to its scale. Today, HR specialists recommend introducing “quiet hours,” when messages can be ignored without consequences, and, conversely, “responsive windows,” during which a response is mandatory. This helps reduce anxiety and simultaneously fosters discipline.
But what should ordinary people do in everyday life? Psychologists advise not jumping to conclusions when you see a “read” tick. Perhaps the person is genuinely busy, has problems, or is simply not ready to respond. Instead of stressing yourself out, it’s helpful to develop your own rules of digital etiquette and share them with friends and colleagues. For example: “I don’t have to reply immediately to messages without a question mark at the end unless it’s urgent.” Or: “If I don’t respond within two hours, write again—I might have just scrolled past it.” Such openness reduces uncertainty, and therefore anxiety.
Interestingly, in the UK, a country with centuries-old traditions of written etiquette (remember, for example, Victorian letter-writing manuals), digital etiquette is only just beginning to emerge. Unspoken rules have already emerged: don’t write on weekends unless it’s urgent; don’t use emoticons in formal correspondence with superiors; Use an exclamation point no more than once per message to avoid appearing aggressive. These norms vary from company to company, from family to family, and that’s okay. The main thing is to remember that behind every message is a living person with their own concerns and feelings.
Ultimately, the solution to the “chat silence” problem lies not in technology (although notifications and statuses help), but in human relationships. If we learn to forgive others for the slowness we ourselves are guilty of, if we stop demanding instant responses and instead value thoughtful responses, perhaps digital communication will become not a source of stress, but a tool for genuine intimacy. In the meantime, let’s just remember the magic word “sorry”—even in chat. It has worked flawlessly for centuries.
